Why it matters.

I'm much more scared of Obama losing than I am of McCain winning. I like Sen. Obama. I mean I really like him. I see him talk and I think he means what he says. I see the look in his eye as he shakes people's hands. He's not giving them empty smiles. He is deliberately trying to make contact if only for a split second. Often he doesn't smile when shaking hands. Which to me shows sincerity and acknowledgement of the other person and not just a mass of potential voters. I think he cares about people. I honestly think he wants to do good. I also know that he wont be all I want him to be when he makes it to office. Even now he has become something larger than himself. He is no longer a man just trying to do right by the people he represents in congress. He is now the figurehead of the democratic party. He must now make compromises as such. But he will be the one to ultimately draw the line on where to stand fast and where to give. I've read only part of his book but I think his perspective is a far cry from the tunnel vision years of government service seems to induce. I think he can step outside his role and make decisions for the people.

I look at Sen. McCain and I see many similarities. I see that he's taken on the same role as figurehead of the republican party. Or rather I see that it's taken him on. I think the maverick has been very much broken, reigned in and is now being paraded around the county fair for everyone to admire. I've admired some of McCain's decisions in the past. He has shown true tenacity and the willingness to do what's right, whether I would agree with it or not. But now I feel he is caught up in this whirlwind of a campaign. He has also now something bigger than himself. I honestly believe that McCain wants to do what's right. (Again whether I agree with him or not) But when he opens his mouth it's no longer the maverick talking it's the Republican party talking. The Republican party is so scared of repeating the disaster that was the Bush administraion that they've reined McCain and the Straight Talk Express in so much he himself has been caught at a lost for words. Literally. I find it hard to believe that such a decorated war veteran that's been through what Sen. McCain's been through would voluntarily use it to gain public affection the way the McCain campaign has sought to. If Sen. McCain is victorious in the final election, I really hope he is able to throw off the shackles of his present campaign administrators and once again become the Maverick he claims he still is. But with recent let-downs like Palin, I doubt it.

On a final note. I'd like to reiterate why I appreciate Sen. Obama and want him to be my next president. Over 5 years ago, I saw something very bad happening. The country I love was acting like the bad guy. Like many citizens, I took to the streets to protest the completely unjustified invasion of Iraq. And standing there with my fellow citizens of many different colors, and backgrounds I felt that we might actually be doing something worthwhile. That somebody might be listening. But that idiot in the white house didn't bat an eye when we told him we knew what he was doing was not only wrong but insanely dangerous for the safety of our country. And they ALL let us down. The Republicans, the Democrats, Sen McCain and Sen Clinton. It was politics as usual and we sent our soldiers (my friends) to kill people that were forced to fight with knives in their backs. And although his voice was not nearly as loud as it is now. There was one political hopeful who was not afraid to say that this was wrong. One person who listened to the voice of the people he served and said that not everyone will mindlessly agree with this farce of a justification for a preemptive strike. One person who stood up for me.

Searching for some semblance of direction on this odd Wednesday night. I'm 27 years old and I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm pretty sure I don't want to grow up. But there's something inside that tells me I should.

Here in Austin, it's been fun. But also polarizing. You begin to understand who it is that matters. The loose collections of memories you've become. There's been times in my life where I waged war against the distance and the incontinence of friends past with repeated missed calls and thinly veiled guilt-tripping voice messages. The champion of friendship to which time and/or space bear no obstacle worth mentioning. But I have lapsed before. And I fear the tides may turn once at last washing this brave skipper and skiff against the rocks.

Back on the Block

So, I'm in the midst of a job change. I had a good job with AT&T supporting the smartphones, but I just couldn't handle the split weekend. Well that is to say I could handle it for a while but it seemed to take years to get 2 days of in a row due to their special scheduling needs.

Well I'm looking at new jobs and I do have some options. But they will all be subservient to the goal of getting me to the level of a working writer. That is making a decent income as a writer. My interests are so varied I can only imagine writing about the thousands of things I find interesting as satisfying.

To get a force writing plan going and make some cash doing it. I'm joining Forum Booster. They pay for forum posts. We shall see how it goes.

Relocate.

So I'm in Austin now. Been here a few months. About to change jobs. More to come...

Weekender

My 'net access is spotty these days so I'm posting from Steven's house today. But this is a big weekend:

• Read-through of ¡Bike_Gang! is going nicely (as I type)
  
• House has been bid on and I think we've found the new place.
• Meeting with James tomorrow about Nerd Alert.
• Chewbacca got arrested for head-butting a tour guide.

But isn't that just how wookies be?

Children of Clive

I could sit here and type about how great Children of Men was but I'm too busy inhaling the book on the right. But mine's special because it's been run over by a forklift.

On a side note I have the closest thing to a mancrush my wiring will alow on Clive Owen. Not that his performance was particularly amazing in Children of Men. It was good, just not Closer, good.

Cast out your pods!

Check out Benjamen Walker's Theory of Everything. It was a lot better last time I listened to it maybe a year and a half ago. He used to always speak in this tortured broken voice that was both annoying and intriguing at the same time. Now he's all NPR and lost a good chunck of street cred. Still a decent podcast.

any other good one's out there?